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- "Polyvagal Safety" Book Review / SNB136+
Do I recommend it? Yeah and nah Depends What it covers, a sampling: Play, compassion, neurocardiology, yoga therapy, mindfulness-based movement, group psychotherapy, human-animal interactions, therapeutic presence, autism and stillness Key - response to critiques of the PVT Still out of our league Who it’s for: For those that need to own everything relating to the PVT Polyvagal enthusiasts and collectors Many of these articles are available online for free (links below) Who it’s not for: People new to PVT Go to PVT101 or 101-109 or eBook or Polyvagal Intro on website People looking to build their Polyvagal safety Not a workbook, not a journaling thing Pure education, lecture, writing Building Safety Anchors will do that What I like: Really really good reference book Worth owning to use as a reference Broad range of topics Collection of topics in one book you can own and have on your shelf Audio - mostly digestible if you have PVT101 knowledge New wrinkles - “preparatory sets” and not states or mixed states What I didn’t like Super redundant Each article touches upon the basics of the PVT Seriously irritating Predictable if you’re into the PVT Really just for collecting and owning Must be a market for it Audio - not for reference use Audio - can get boring af, voice is fairly monotone and lacking prosody Amazon link - https://amzn.to/3FbVXbu Polyvagal 101 - https://www.justinlmft.com/polyvagalclarity Building Safety Anchors - https://www.justinlmft.com/bsa Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats Neurocardiology Through the Lens of the Polyvagal Theory - https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5c1d025fb27e390a78569537/t/5cb67958eef1a19d9940fb5d/1555462489535/Neurocardiology+final+Porges+Kolacz.pdf Polyvagal Theory: A Biobehavioral Journey to Sociality - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666497621000436 Play as a Neural Exercise - https://olivebranchsa.com/portfolio-view/play-as-a-neural-exercise-insights-from-the-polyvagal-theory/ Vagal Pathways: Portals to Compassion - https://integratedlistening.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/porges_compassion-final-7.2016.pdf Yoga Therapy and Polyvagal Theory - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5835127/ Mindfulness-Based Movement - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5482784/ Brain-Body Connection May Ease Autistic People’s Social Problems - https://www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/viewpoint/brain-body-connection-may-ease-autistic-peoples-social-problems/ Reducing Auditory Hypersensitivities in Autistic Spectrum Disorder - https://www.researchgate.net/publication/264902145_Reducing_Auditory_Hypersensitivities_in_Autistic_Spectrum_Disorder_Preliminary_Findings_Evaluating_the_Listening_Project_Protocol The COVID-19 Pandemic is a Paradoxical Challenge - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8629069/ National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255 National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741 Call 911 for emergency This podcast is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health sx. Nothing in this podcast should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
- Be patient. Getting Unstuck Takes Time.
Reminder - Be patient! I am willing to bet that you're more than a bit frustrated or anxious with your process of getting unstuck. I've been there as well. And I still get there, probably more frustration than anything. This is a reminder to be patient. Getting unstuck is not simply a decision that you make. No, it's not simply an issue of changing your thinking or adopting a new mindset. No, it's not about having more gratitude and appreciation. When I refer to "getting unstuck," I am referring to re-regulating yourself on a nervous system level. Not just in behaviors or thoughts, not just in feelings, but in your biology as well. That's what this comes down to. There is a good chance that you are stuck in a defensive state of flight/fight, shutdown or freeze. Your body shifted to one of these defensive states out of necessity, but then it got stuck . This is something that is very common for each of us, though it can take one of two different paths. Path 1 - an acute life threat reaction This happens as a result of surviving some event, like an assault, a car crash or a shooting. The event happens once, then it's over, but it potentially leaves someone in a traumatized stuck defensive state. During the event, they shifted to a defensive state, like flight. But they were not able to escape and utilize the energy and impulses of the defensive state. While in this state, they were also immobilized in some fashion, which freezes the defensive state into their system. This first path is referred to as "shock trauma" often and is associated with PTSD. Path 2 - a chronic disruption of connectedness This is different than the first path. In Path 2 , the individual repeatedly has their impulse for connections with safe others disrupted. This is common in children of abusive and neglectful homes. Children are born with the impulse to connect with safe adults. If the safe adults in their life repeatedly disrupt that impulse, then the child will not be able to develop a safe attachment. If they can't do that, then they do not develop the biological pathways necessary for connection. These pathways only develop in the contexts of safe relationships and safe environments. At least, safe enough . You can learn more about these two paths of trauma in my Polyvagal 101 course . It condenses the fundamental Polyvagal information into an easy-to-understand course, saving you time and confusion. In my opinion, this is necessary knowledge for those in the helping professions. A gradual process No matter the path, I want you to give yourself some more patience in getting unstuck . In order to get out of these stuck defensive states, you need to gradually do so. Getting unstuck is not typically something done all at once. Maybe on a behavioral level, someone can seemingly miraculously change their behavior. The alcoholic can stop drinking "cold turkey" and never go back to it. And that's great for them (also not common, realistic or recommended), but that's not what I am talking about. Just because someone's behavior has stopped, doesn't mean they have changed on a deeper, biological level. One of my teen clients - the child of two alcoholic parents - said their parents "aren't drinking, but they haven't changed!" Meaning, their parents stopped their drinking behavior, but their emotional regulation didn't change along with it. Getting unstuck on a biological level refers to re-regulating your autonomic nervous system . It means activating the ventral vagal biological pathways responsible for social engagement and maintaining access to those pathways. If you exist in a stuck defensive state, it can be difficult to activate those safety pathways in the first place and even more difficult to maintain access to them. It takes practice and is therefore a gradual process , just like anything else that takes practice. If you want to hit a 100mph fastball, you first need to hit a 90mph one. And before that, a 75mph one. (I've never hit any of these, but I assume this is the case.) If you want to paint a landscape within 30 minutes like the great Bob Ross, you need to be able to practice and nail 45 minutes first. Before you do that, you need to learn how to mix paint and use the tools. And to hit a fastball, you need to practice swinging a bat and know how to stand at the plate. You get the idea. Getting unstuck is not going to happen right now. Probably not overnight. Probably not from gathering enough insight into yourself and your childhood. Probably not from confronting your fears head-on without being ready for it. And probably not from berating yourself with misplaced shame and guilt. The importance of building safety It's something that is done little by little. And this is where patience needs to come in. Getting unstuck will happen. It can happen. You can make change in your life. But accepting that it's a gradual process will probably be more helpful than whatever else you're doing. Maybe you're one of the unicorns that can make a huge change all at once. Best of luck to you if you are. For the majority of us, for my therapy clients and for myself, it's a process. This is also the exact same idea I utilize in my Building Safety Anchors course . I don't expect the participants to just sit down and meditate and get unstuck, releasing their trauma in one trembling and shaking session. Or to dance their stuck state away. Or breathe in some fashion that gets them unstuck. In BSA, I lay out daily activities to getting those safety pathways more and more active. As these ventral vagal safety pathways continue to develop, then getting unstuck becomes more and more likely. This is not a one-time event, but a series of concerted efforts toward building the strength of your safety pathways - in effect, increasing the strength of your vagal brake . When the vagal brake is strong enough, then the intensity of the defensive state will soften. This is what getting unstuck feels like over a longer span of time. A softening of defensive feelings, like anxiety and anger. At least, that's been my experience and what I see in my therapy clients and why I created Building Safety Anchors in the way that I did. (This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.)
- I've Tried Everything & I'm Still Numb!" / SNB140
INTRO - In this episode, I discuss… Having tried everything, shutdown and numbness and how safety can actually lead to defensive feelings. My hope is that… You gain some clarity into what is keeping you stuck as well as some new ideas for getting a bit more unstuck starting today. My name is Justin Sunseri. I’m a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist that thinks the world needs a new understanding of mental health. Welcome to Stuck Not Broken. DISCLAIMERS - This podcast is not therapy, nor intended to be a replacement for therapy. From ? - Stucknaut Andy Marsh! Hello! So I’ve been working with a trauma specialist therapist once a week and we’ve been doing EMDR. I’m on Zoloft which I started back in February which has been the only thing to help me basically be able to function again. I am diagnosed with CPTSD from childhood misattunement basically. I have really no connection with feelings. I don’t have DID but I just don’t feel connected anymore. Whenever I feel into my body I never feel safety. I know you have a safety anchors course and at this point I am skeptical about anything being able to help me. I assume I’m stuck at the way bottom of the Polyvagal ladder and just feel like I haven’t budged up at all. I know everyone probably thinks they are the worst case scenario- but I swear I am. I’ve literally tried everything. When I try to feel safety in my body all I can feel is anxiousness rolling around my tummy. Every time. I can’t seem to get past it. Hoping you maybe have experienced this before… "I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING!" Might not be an issue of technique or ideas But an issue of implementation Meditating can look different Find a way that works for you, no matter what the technique is A way that feels safe enough Even the same therapy modality will be different person to person! How I do somatic work may be different EMDR may be different Fidelity to the modality is not guaranteed I’ve seen this in tx teams, trust me! What do you need in the moment for your state? EMDR might not be it CBT might not be it Try things based on your state Therapist needs to be able to read your state and adapt LACK OF FEELING & SHUTDOWN These go together Dorsal response, conservation, numbness, dissociation even Body is often numb, empty, hopeless (“nothing will help!”) Yes, this is the bottom of the ladder Last option for a mammal to survive Can’t run, can’t fight, then shut down Shutdown might be the most difficult to climb out of Defeated person, lack of motivation Have to reconnect with the world, with the self Learn everything all over again in a sense Get used to sympathetic energy, connection, safety C-PTSD makes this even more difficult Lack of a history of these things Lack of healthy play, attachment, co-regulation Connecting with others is a major challenge and also with the self Development of a true self may not have happened, or truer self We learn who we are in the context of others, building off of a safe attachment and co-regulation SAFETY CAN LEAD TO DEFENSIVE FEELINGS Might seem odd But the ans is neurocepting safety and attempting to self-regulate Maybe safe environment or safe person Mindfulness can allow defensive energy to surface as well Mindfulness is like giving permission to self-regulate, aligning consciousness to body Like meditating successfully, then feeling anxiety or anger Even therapy can too Need to build the window of tolerance Vagal brake Feel safety in tolerable doses Build safety little by little Like lifting weights JustinLMFT YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCduAkQrvmvWq2oy8aJSNcEQ Building Safety Anchors - https://www.justinlmft.com/bsa Polyvagal 101 Class - https://www.justinlmft.com/PVT101 Become a $5 Patron - https://www.patreon.com/justinlmft Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255 National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741 Call 911 for emergency This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health sx. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
- Therapy retraumatization
I think it's really important that the process of therapy be crystal clear for both therapists and clients. And part of that - which should be a part of any informed consent for treatment - is the potential risks of being a part of therapy. Therapists should already know this stuff, so I am really talking more to the clients of therapy. Therapists & therapeers, feel free to read on and contribute in the comments if you've got a thought to share. Therapy is supposed to be a place where people can go to work through emotional or cognitive obstacles that are interfering with their basic life functioning. Or maybe those are obstacles in achieving some new level of success and they need the help of an expert in clearing the way. (Yes, somatic elements are absolutely important, but it's typically the thoughts and emotions that bring people to therapy.) Sadly, clients sometimes find that therapy is not what they were expecting, wanting or needing it to be. And they may have even found it to be so unpleasant that they gave up on therapy altogether. Furthermore, they may have found it retraumatizing. I want to discuss two potential paths to retraumatization through therapy. One of these is unethical behavior and the other is a potential common therapeutic mistake or misunderstanding in the field. 1. Therapeutic Unethical Behavior Retraumatization Therapy can go way way wrong and be obviously retraumatizing. A good example of therapeutic unethical behavior is covered in this Bad Therapy episode I did on my Stuck Not Broken podcast - This type of retraumatization can look extreme, like manipulating a client into a sexual relationship ( therapy never includes sex , btw) or a secondary financial one. A therapist (or anyone else with ill intent) can exploit someone's dependency on another. Therapy is not supposed to be a relationship of power or dependency, but the inherent dynamic of the situation could result in a manipulation of others if the therapist is coming from their own selfish intent. Therapy is a contextual relationship of one person in need, going to another for help. The person in need may also be in desperate need and unwittingly open to possible exploitation. If this individual has a history of poor attachment or otherwise lives stuck down their Polyvagal ladder , they may not be able to identify red flags from others . This is especially true in a relationship that has an imbalance of power, like a therapeutic relationship. (This has also been seen in exploitation of parishioners by various religious leaders.) Unfortunately, therapy can be delivered as or viewed as an expert dispensing some sort of remedy. The expert therapist is "normal" and the client has the problem. The expert identifies the problem, labels it and then provides treatment for the problem. The client is the one in need, seeks out a remedy and then receives the treatment. This is a very medical model of therapy and has limited usefulness, in my opinion . This view of the therapeutic alliance can be exploited by someone holding the power who also has ill intent. Of course, therapy should not be an imbalance of power, but it also kind of is. Therapy should be collaborative. Therapy should be two individuals meeting and working on a goal. Yes, a therapist is an expert in the room. But there is also another - the client. The therapist is an expert on psychology and technique, but the client is the expert on their life. The two meet and work together. This understanding forms the collaborative therapeutic relationship. A therapist may act outside of the profession's norms, ethics and laws. I wouldn't call this therapy. It's more like a therapist behaving badly . Exploitation of others is not therapy. Even when done by a therapist. If a plumber were to play video games at a client's house, that wouldn't be called plumbing. Even though it was done by a plumber while they were on the job. But even in the context of typical therapeutic practice, retraumatization can still occur... 2. Narrative & Experiential Retraumatization Therapy can also inadvertedly retraumatize someone, even despite the best efforts of the therapist. We're commonly taught in therapy schools that to "get over" or "heal" from a trauma, clients need to talk about it directly. Clients need to talk about it in detail even and confront their feelings. There's an entire modality built around the idea of sharing the trauma narrative - Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy . This is a modality that has telling the trauma narrative at its very core. The client is expected to tell and retell the narrative until it no longer has a triggering charge over them. Sharing the story with a trusted other at the end of tx is also expected. The client is also expected to not simply tell the story verbally, but to create it in some way, like through collage or writing. EMDR utilizes exposure through memory and expects the client to explicitly revisit the traumatic incident in the 3rd step of the modality - assessment. In this step the client actually begins to target a specific memory. The therapist may build up a full image of the target by asking questions about the incident, such as what happened, when, where, and also what negative beliefs about themself that they hold in relation to this memory. The individual components of the target image are brought out. I don't think either of these modalities are inherently retraumatizing. No. In fact, they both have features built into them that are supposed to soften the intensity of the narrative, like bilateral stimulation or gradually telling more of the trauma narrative in each iteration of the narrative. These and other modalities are not my immediate concern (as long as the therapist is implementing to fidelity and with the client’s consen). I am more concerned about a prevalent belief amongst therapists - that clients need to confront and share their narratives - even if they're not ready. Even if they don't know how to ground themselves in their Polyvagal state of safety. Too early for trauma work What ends up happening is that clients are pushed into talking about something that they are simply not ready for. So these clients end up in a Polyvagal defensive state, like flight/fight, shutdown or freeze. There's a good chance that the client is triggered back into the moment of the event(s) that they are trying to get help for in the first place. They are back in the defensive state and are unable to self-regulate into their safety state. They leave the session dysregulated and retraumatized. Their stuck autonomic nervous system state is simply reinforced. The therapist is not intentionally doing so. They may even believe they are doing a "good job." They're getting their clients to confront their past and that's good, right? They're getting their clients to "feel their feelings"... that's good therapy, right? They're getting the client to feel those difficult feelings and then to "sit with them." Yay... right? No. At least - no, for now . All of these things can be helpful. Confronting, feeling, sitting with... these can be great. Just not before the client is ready. The priority in doing trauma work is to maintain the client's access to their Polyvagal state of safety and social connection. From there, the client can actually feel the stuck flight/fight, shutdown or freeze states. But those states won't be felt in the same way. A stuck fight sympathetic state won't be experienced as uncontrollable anger. It may instead turn into power and a sense of possibility and motivation. Even if it is experienced as anger, it won't be out of control. Instead, it will be tolerable and the client is able to process it. The priority for trauma work is safety The client needs to be anchored in their state of safety. This means that their biological pathways (ventral vagal) responsible for connection will be active. When these myelinated pathways are active, they will keep the heartbeat of the client at a calmer pace, which keeps the flight/fight potential lower. If the safety pathways are off, then the heart rate goes up and the sympathetic flight/fight state kicks in, resulting in feelings like anxiety and anger, possibly panic or overwhelm. This is a concept called the "vagal brake," which you can learn more about in my Polyvagal 101 course. If you're a therapist, this and other Polyvagal concepts are necessary knowledge for your practice. Safety comes first. Then , once anchored in safety , the client can turn their attention toward the more difficult experiences they are having. Once they are anchored, then they can delve into their grief, shame, trauma and more. But even while doing the more difficult work, they still need to be checking in with themselves to gauge their capacity to continue. When the defensive energies surface - which they will - they need to be balanced out by safety. It's completely okay for those defensive Polyvagal states and feelings to come up. It's going to happen. But we want to be able to balance it with feelings of safety: connection, calm, joy, confidence and more.
- Just You. No ego, no shadow, no parts... / SNB 149 poster and show notes
Listen to the episode above. There are also three more episodes on this topic. You can find the playlist for the series here . Poster Here is my poster for episode 149. Download and print on 11x17 paper if you have it. :) Show notes Stucknaut letter from Sieghild Liza, 65y/o Austrian woman *behindthename.com I listened to a podcast (Complex Trauma Recovery) you were a guest on and ended up buying your course (Polyvagal 101?). I got through the first part of the course but I am a little confused. I have a limited understanding of psychology (or whatever the proper term is) and I'm getting caught up in how all these systems and ideas fit/don't fit together. Yes, things are confusing BSA is about increasing the vagal brake strength through practicing being in safety PVT101 is about learning the biology underneath our mental health General mh ideas fit into PVT because PVT is not mental health specific, it’s cross-professions It’s science. It’s foundational to other professions. So the question then is how to other psychological ideas connect to PVT? Where is the intersection? I am looking to take courses like yours but I'm reaching information overload. I've been studying attachment theory, abandonment issues, been doing cbt and emdr in therapy, and have heard about inner child healing, shadow work, somatic therapy, and I'm sure there are hundreds of ideas I haven't come across yet. Problem but not a problem Competition is good Consumers need to be aware and look for what clicks within us I am not interested in psychological constructs like parts work, reparenting, shadow work, ego Unnecessary cognitive layer for me Competing therapy modalities is okay too But the basics is what works I've been diagnosed with adhd, anxiety, cptsd, depression but like you mentioned in the podcast, I'm not sure if the diagnostics are really that meaningful or even accurate. They’re really not imo And they can become part of our identities Not temporary state dysregulation And professionals disagree about this stuff all the time We don’t even agree on the purpose and functionality or criteria of dx There is no blood test or urine test Is polyvagal the best place to direct my energy? Are there other resources/theories you think are essential to learn in congruence? Foundational knowledge, helpful concepts, psychological constructs and therapeutic techniques Understanding concepts is important, like attachment and abandonment These are truths that could apply to your life Important for learning and applying Not enough on their own Understanding psychological constructs is less important These are not true, but could be applied to your life as a metaphor/reframe Functional in state regulation Not enough on their own Doing specific techniques is important, but also not as important as therapy alliance Techniques can be helpful, like reframes, talking to an empty chair, reality testing, practicing listening and communication skills But not sufficient on their own PVT is foundational knowledge To understanding consciousness, connection, danger Imo, this is the starting point if you’re open to something new Are these other ideas in conflict with polyvagal theory? No, but how do they connect? These are mostly top-down reframes to the brain stem These help with state regulation There is no shadow state, no parts state for different internal family members They may get your closer to your state by regulating enough and then looking inward But this is an added cognitive layer too And this relies on an expert giving wisdom about shadow selves and parts and egos and child selves and true selves I’ll make one up right now! Puzzle Completion Therapy (PCT) You’re missing a puzzle piece to become your completed self You need to identify where the missing piece is inside of you A technique is to start with the outside edges Like maybe the easier facets of your life - like school Then work toward the middle pieces, aka the traumas and attachments and abandonments PST will be available for coaching soon, called Puzzle Self Coaching Is polyvagal the best place to start or are there other things I need to master before/alongside? I think it’s foundational knowledge, great place to start Somatic focused things But comprehensive of thoughts, feelings, sensations Not just moving around, dancing, breathing SE seems great BSA is the next step imo PVT101 and then BSA Honestly, I'm just really overwhelmed and heard you give a little push back on inner child work on the podcast so I thought I'd ask which ideas are the most valuable. I feel really behind and it seems that polyvagal is the best place to start, but I feel like I'm dipping my toes into a little bit of everything and not really retaining a lot of info. Thank you again for your work. It's succinct and easy for me to process, I just worry I don't know how any of this works. You’re welcome Yeah, it’s overwhelming I hope this was clear for you as well And thanks again for taking one of my courses Disclaimer This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
- Polyvagal Safety & How to Use It
You’ve heard about this Polyvagal stuff and are interested to learn more. Specifically, what the heck is the safety stuff and how to use it? A great question! What is Polyvagal Safety? As I am apt to point out often on the podcast , Polyvagal safety is a reference to biology first and foremost. In the PVT, we are discussing biology. Not simply feelings. Not just “trauma responses.” But biology. Polyvagal safety refers to the ventral vagal pathways of the autonomic nervous system. When active, these ventral vagal pathways result in your ability to connect with yourself and with others . They allow you to socially engage and provide cues of safety to another, a process called co-regulation. When you’re in your safety state, you can then: smile genuinely, use vocal prosody, make eye crinkles from listening or smiling and get close physically to another. You also are able to use a couple of Polyvagal mixed states - play and stillness. Meaning, you can mobilize while socially engaged in play and/or you can immobilize without fear in stillness. If the safety state is not active, then these mixed states and their resulting behaviors and experiences are not possible. Of course, you can learn a lot more about the Polyvagal Theory in my Polyvagal 101 course . It covers the essentials of the Polyvagal Theory in a self-paced course. You’ll also be able to join me once a month in an Open Office Hour to ask questions about the PVT or other topics of interest. You’re probably wondering how to access your Polyvagal state of safety and social engagement. A fair question. Check off what you're learning through the Polyvagal Checklist download below. Join the Stucknaut Collective for free and gain instant access to a course on trauma recovery, practical Polyvagal Theory resources, and exclusive downloadable tools to support your healing journey. Accessing Polyvagal Safety To access Polyvagal safety, you need a couple basic things: Environmental safety - You need literal safety. To be free from actual danger to your person. This also includes a more subtle form of "safety," which involves passive cues of safety from the environment. Things like the hums of electronics, loud sounds, harsh lighting and crowded spaces will all give you cues of danger, even though they are not literally dangerous. Interpersonal safety - Again, literal safety. To be free from danger from others. But it's more than that. This involves receiving co-regulative cues of safety from others. Smiles, eye crinkles, vocal prosody, you get the idea... Having these two pieces are essential to accessing the Polyvagal state of safety and social engagement. However, it may not be that simple. Duh. If you live in a traumatized defensive state, then accessing and remaining in your state of safety is a significant challenge. Those pathways may not be developed enough yet. Feeling your safety state might be uncomfortable, things like feeling trust and vulnerability. It's exceedingly important that you not only access safety once, but continue to do so. So on top of the two things listed above, you also need to have a third, which is to practice being in safety. Building Polyvagal Safety The safety state needs to be exercised, just like anything else. Through exercising it, you build the strength of the pathways. This builds the strength of your "vagal brake," (another Polyvagal concept ) which is the influence of the social engagement system on the heart, keeping it at a calmer pace and keeping sympathetic energy from activating. Polyvagal safety is not something to be used. It's something to be developed. It's not something you can make a conscious choice to turn off or on. You can definitely increase the chances of your safety state being active. You can do so through creating passive safety cues for yourself in your environment. In BSA , this is the starting point for building safety. Creating environmental safety cues. From there, you can then create active safety cues. These would be activities that you can do, like mindfully using your senses or movement, to feel more safety in your system. If you can mindfully do so, you can then exercise and increase the safety pathways.
- What everyone gets wrong about the Polyvagal Theory
I think this is what most people get wrong about the Polyvagal Theory... When I see what others are putting out about the Polyvagal Theory, they tend to focus on a couple of things. And both are short-sighted. The first thing that they focus on is the behavioral aspect of the Theory. Specifically, the "trauma response" aspect. They've learned that the PVT has something to do with trauma and lump it in with other vague learnings about "trauma responses". You'll often see people talk about "fight, flight and freeze." Sometimes they mention "fawn." Sometimes they mention "friend" or "f***" or "faint" or other things that all seemingly somehow start with the letter "f". This is a convoluted mess. It's unnecessary and confuses the issue of understanding trauma and understanding the Polyvagal Theory. Click here to learn the Polyvagal Theory simply the first time in under 2 hours > The other thing they tend to focus on is an over-emphasis of the biology. People love love love to mention things like "dorsal vagal" and "ventral vagal". They love it. Really, they do. Oh and the "vagus nerve"? Forget about it. Talk of the vagus nerve is all the rage. Stimulating it? Sure. Resetting it? Heck yeah. Rewiring it? Maybe? Activating it? Most definitely. All of these things at the same time? I mean, sure, why not, right? Then they instruct you to do things like gargle. Or tilt your head and stretch your neck. Or rub your neck. Or go into a cold body of water. Or splash water on your face. Or dance or sing. Huh? What is this accomplishing? How can you tell? (This is all a convoluted mess as well. Unnecessary and confusing to the beginner.) The reality is the heart of the Polyvagal Theory has little to do with the vagus nerve itself. I know, I know. This doesn't make sense. The PVT is much more than the vagus nerve. It's much more than "trauma responses". It's much more than - you guessed it - gargling. The PVT is a biological unified theory of various human domains. Thought, emotion, sensation, impulse, autonomic state. The Theory connects the biology of our everyday experience to the theory of evolution. It's the science of connection and survival. It's not a psychological theory. It's not an educational one. It's not a medical one. It's all of these and more. It's the underlying biology of what makes us who we are (and other organisms too, but focuses on mammals), which is then applied to various professional pursuits. It doesn't belong to the trauma sphere. Nor the educational. Nor the psychological. Nor any other. It unifies each of these professions. And yeah, it's more than the vagus nerve. It describes how the brainstem and our senses are involved in something called "neuroception". It connects to other biological processes, like optimizing bodily resources for safety or defense. (Things that I lack knowledge in, sorry.) The vagus nerve is the conduit. Messages are sent from the brainstem down to your various bodily organs and processes. The vagus nerve is like a highway the information travels. That's it. If you don't believe me, give my interview with Dr. Porges a listen (he created the Theory). He says so himself - The vagus nerve is a conduit. It's a wire. That's not what we're really concerned about. We're more concerned about the regulator that's sending signals through that wire and the impact of those signals to the target organs and then the target organs through the sensory part of the vagus sending signals back to the brain. So we're more concerned with the feedback loop between organ and brainstem that's going through the vagus than the nerve itself. Click here to listen to the entire interview from my podcast > We need clarity, not novelty and confusion The Polyvagal Theory is deep and complex and highly academic. Rather than attempting to fit it into other ideas you already have about "trauma responses" or popular psychology trends, focus on understanding the Theory for what it is. Yeah, it's fun to connect to other things and I have done a lot of that on the podcast. But you need to have a clear understanding of the Theory first. Podcast listeners and students of my online courses tell me consistently that I make the Polyvagal Theory easy to understand right away. Thom is a member of my Polyvagal 101 course and he said in a feedback form that he got "a clearer understanding of the fundamentals of the polyvagal theory and its relationship with trauma." And that's exactly my goal when I teach the PVT. Easy peasy, no confusion. Makes sense the first time. No more and no less. Click here to learn more about my Polyvagal 101 course > Check off what you're learning through the Polyvagal Checklist download below. Join the Stucknaut Collective for free and gain instant access to a course on trauma recovery, practical Polyvagal Theory resources, and exclusive downloadable tools to support your healing journey.
- I'm shocked this Polyvagal concept is still mistaught
No, me saying I'm "shocked" in the title is not an understatement. Maybe I shouldn't be. I'll also share the reason why I think people are confusing these two different Polyvagal states. If I'm right, it's a ridiculous reason. I hope I'm wrong. Shutdown and Freeze are not the same thing I used to make this same mistake. I would use the word "freeze" when referring to the state of immobilization, the bottom rung on the Polyvagal ladder. I even used it on my podcast for the first 15 episodes until I talked with the Theory's creator, Dr. Stephen Porges. That's when he told me this - There is this whole ambiguity because people use the word ‘freeze’ when they really mean “shutting down.” The mouse in the jaws of a cat is not frozen, it’s just limp… The limp loss of muscle tone is a dorsal vagal response (Porges, Stuck Not Broken episode 15). Shutdown is collapsing or going limp. Freeze is stiffening. Let me do a little Porges translation here. He's saying freeze and shutting down are distinct. They aren't the same. He uses the example of a mouse in the jaws of a cat. And he uses the imagery of the mouse being limp. That's shutting down; what he calls a "dorsal vagal response," which is the bottom of the Polyvagal ladder. Freeze is also a dorsal vagal response, but different. Freeze is the combination of dorsal vagal shutdown plus sympathetic flight/fight response. Freeze is flight/fight in combination with shutdown. Mobilization and immobilization at the same time. There is an intense and rapid buildup of energy to run or fight, while at the same time the body is immobilized or immobilizing. When functioning defensively as a fight/flight machine, humans and other mammals need to move. If we are... placed in isolation or restrained, our nervous system… wants to immobilize (Porges, Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory 67). The body will immobilize with a neuroception of life threat. This can be through external physical forced immobilization or the internal perception that the body is going to die. Assaults are an obvious example - there is an impulse to run away, but the individual may be unable to do so for various reasons. They also aren’t able to fight back. They may also be physically forced into immobilization with the sympathetic energy in their system. As a result, they may enter a freeze mixed state. Check off what you're learning through the Polyvagal Checklist download below. Join the Stucknaut Collective for free and gain instant access to a course on trauma recovery, practical Polyvagal Theory resources, and exclusive downloadable tools to support your healing journey. Why I think people continue to confuse the two I really hope I'm wrong, but I think people love to focus on "trauma responses" that start with the letter "F". The idea is absurd, I know. But that's what I see over and over and over again. People in the trauma content creation space love their "F" trauma responses. From fight and flight to fawn and flop to friend and forget and even f***. I hope I'm wrong. But I don't think people want to say "shutdown" because it breaks the F pattern. Truth is, I had a hard time letting go of it too after Dr. Porges clarified the difference for me. *sad face* I want you to have clear and accurate information That's why I made Polyvagal 101. It's my course that teaches the Polyvagal Theory clearly. You'll know the theory and be able to connect it to trauma. Doing so will also lay the foundation for you to have a new self-narrative and reduce your self-blame, shame and judgment. Click the link below to find out more about Polyvagal 101. Click here to learn more about Polyvagal 101 >
- Polyvagal Freeze vs Shutdown Video Quiz
I have a brief lesson on why it's dangerous to confuse freeze and shutdown of the Polyvagal Theory. And after that, I have a video quiz for you to test your ability to spot the difference. Why this confusion is important Freeze and shutdown of the Polyvagal Theory both refer to immobilization. Yes. But the flavor of immobilization is very different. This is important when it comes to therapy or working on your own process of getting unstuck from trauma. The flavor of your immobilization is going to affect what getting unstuck looks like for you. The intensity of freeze could benefit from active fidgeting, while the slowness of shutdown could benefit from being immobile in an environment with reduced stimulation. Immobility and freeze don't go well together unless you are capable of tolerating the frozen flight/fight energy. That is, unless you can tolerate the experience of fear. As a therapist, it will affect what interventions I implement with my clients as well. With someone in shutdown, I allow more time and quiet and stillness. With someone in a panicky freeze, I am more talkative and directive as they ground themselves. From shutdown, you need to allow flight/fight energy back into your system. From freeze, flight/fight energy needs to be discharged. Shutdown immobilization needs to be allowed and slowly come out of. Freeze immobilization is experienced as fear and needs to be thawed through titration and pendulation. The experience of these two states is different and so is the path of getting unstuck. You're maybe in the phase of learning about the Polyvagal Theory, so this is probably too far down the road for you. But I designed the third phase of my Polyvagal Trauma Relief System with this key difference in mind. Coming out of shutdown and freeze are not the same thing. If you're brand new to this Polyvagal stuff, I don't recommend jumping to the third phase of my System. You're probably a better fit for Polyvagal 101, which is the first phase. Click the link below for more information. Click here to learn more about Polyvagal 101 > Freeze or shutdown video quiz I also thought you might like this. It's a little video quiz for you to see if you can decipher freeze vs shutdown. Check off what you're learning through the Polyvagal Checklist download below. Join the Stucknaut Collective for free and gain instant access to a course on trauma recovery, practical Polyvagal Theory resources, and exclusive downloadable tools to support your healing journey.
- Why the Polyvagal Safety State is so Important
The defensive autonomic states are usually how people get introduced to the Polyvagal Theory. And I think tend to be the focus. But the safety state should be the area that you spend more time on and learn more about. It's also an aspect of the Theory that you can take action on. What is Polyvagal Safety? Polyvagal safety is a reference to biology first and foremost. In the PVT, we are discussing biology. Not simply feelings. Not just “trauma responses.” But biology. Polyvagal safety refers to the ventral vagal pathways of the autonomic nervous system. Why Polyvagal Safety is Important When active, these ventral vagal pathways result in your ability to connect with yourself and with others. They allow you to socially engage and provide cues of safety to another, a Polyvagal process called "co-regulation". When you’re in your safety state, you can then do things like: smile genuinely use vocal prosody make eye crinkles from listening or smiling get close physically to another You'll also be able to use a couple of Polyvagal mixed states - play and stillness. Meaning, you can mobilize while socially engaged in play and/or you can immobilize without fear in stillness. If the safety state is not active, then these mixed states and their resulting behaviors and experiences are not possible. Of course, you can learn a lot more about the Polyvagal Theory in my Polyvagal 101 course. It covers the essentials of the Polyvagal Theory in a self-paced course. Everything you need to know, all in one place, in less time. Click here to learn more about Polyvagal 101 > Accessing Polyvagal Safety Accessing your Polyvagal state of safety is not simply a choice that you make. Remember, it is essentially a biological process. The biology for safety needs to be active and this is done through neuroception . Essentially, this is the autonomic nervous system's process for unconsciously detecting safety or danger in the environment, then shifting to the appropriate autonomic state: connection, mobilization or immobilization. You need a couple basic things to neurocept safety: Environmental safety - You need literal safety. To be free from actual danger to your person. This also includes a more subtle form of "safety," which involves passive cues of safety from the environment. Things like the hums of electronics, loud sounds, harsh lighting and crowded spaces will all give you cues of danger, even though they are not literally dangerous. Interpersonal safety - Again, literal safety. To be free from danger from others. But it's more than that. This involves receiving co-regulative cues of safety from others. Smiles, eye crinkles, vocal prosody, you get the idea... Having these two pieces are essential to accessing the Polyvagal state of safety and social engagement. However, it may not be that simple. (Duh, right?) Building Polyvagal Safety I started this blog by saying that learning the safety state is the next step after being introduced to the Polyvagal Theory. I say that because it's also the aspect of the PVT that you can take action on immediately. The safety state needs to be exercised, just like anything else. Through exercising it, you build the strength of the ventral vagal safety pathways. This builds the strength of your "vagal brake," which is the influence of the social engagement system on the heart, keeping it at a calmer pace and keeping the flight/fight sympathetic state from activating. Polyvagal safety is not something to be used. It's something to be developed. It's not something you can make a conscious choice to turn off or on. You can definitely increase the chances of your safety state being active. You can do so through creating passive safety cues for yourself in your environment. In my Building Safety Anchors course, this is the starting point. Creating environmental safety cues. From there, you can then create active safety cues. These would be activities that you can do, like mindfully using your senses or movement, to feel more safety in your system. If you can mindfully do so, you can then exercise and increase the safety pathways. Be patient with yourself Be as mindful of what helps you to access your safety state as you can. It'll feel like connection with yourself or with others. It'll feel more like being grounded in the present moment and more awareness of your senses. You will be more curious than evaluative. Building the safety state is a long process. Be patient with yourself. Check off what you're learning through the Polyvagal Checklist download below. Join the Stucknaut Collective for free and gain instant access to a course on trauma recovery, practical Polyvagal Theory resources, and exclusive downloadable tools to support your healing journey.
- Why traumatized people have difficulty with safety
You know the Polyvagal Theory has direct understandings and implications for trauma. And you know that the PVT describes the mammalian body's potential for accessing safety or danger states. But did you know that a traumatized person has significant difficulties with being able to access their safety state? And do you know why? What trauma is. Briefly. In Polyvagal terms, trauma is being stuck in a defensive state. (See? Brief explanation of trauma.) Safety is a challenge for a traumatized person If you're stuck in a defensive state, then you're obviously going to have difficulty accessing safety. Otherwise, if you could access safety, then you wouldn't be stuck. I don't know if that's you or not, Fellow Stucknaut, but I hear this often from listeners of the podcast . Those pathways may not be developed enough for safety. Not yet. Feeling your safety state might be uncomfortable, bringing things like feeling trust and vulnerability along with it. In therapy , my clients will often get to their safety state and then feel new things, like vulnerability. But it's uncomfortable - at first. They look at me and make eye contact, then look away as they lose access to their safety state. And that's totally okay. It's part of the process of coming out of a traumatized state. As their safety state increases, they will be able to extend their eye contact with me naturally. For the traumatized individual, accessing safety even once might be a major obstacle. But accessing it repeatedly and building the strength of those safety pathways can feel like an insurmountable obstacle. I can help to guide you if this describes you. I built a course for you, that should be taken after Polyvagal 101 . It's all about building the strength of your vagal brake. The course is called Building Safety Anchors. Click here to learn more about Building Safety Anchors > Desperation for change You may have a level of desperation you're feeling. Again, completely okay. But that desperation stems from a stuck defensive state. Like freeze possibly. It's desperation for change. For relief. For lessening or even obliteration of the pain that you're in. This desperation can be harnessed and utilized eventually, but that requires a stronger vagal brake. So your desperation for change might be at odds with your need for safety development, which might be your next step. You can't make the change you're desperate for without the safety state being prepared for it. There is hope! Luckily, it's entirely possible to reduce the intensity of your stuck defensive state and to also increase the strength of your safety state. The two actually go together. As you develop the strength of your safety state, then the intensity of the defensive state reduces. Focus on identifying what helps you to feel as grounded in your body in curiosity as you can. It may not be time to delve into the stuck defensive state. That day may come, but first, working on your capacity for safety might be what you need. There is definitely hope. Check off what you're learning through the Polyvagal Checklist download below. Join the Stucknaut Collective for free and gain instant access to a course on trauma recovery, practical Polyvagal Theory resources, and exclusive downloadable tools to support your healing journey.
- How to reduce your shame, blame & judgment
I think when people first get interested in the Polyvagal Theory , they're looking for answers. They want to know what to do with their trauma. They want relief and they want to make change. They find the theory and see there is some avenue for learning and applying new knowledge. They want to identify their stuck defensive state and then climb their Polyvagal ladder into their safety state. And yeah, I totally get it. Of course. And yes, the PVT can provide some insight into these things. It can, but it's also not prescriptive. It's science, not therapy. It's knowledge, not medicine. It's research, not technique. The real benefit to learning the PVT Really, the immediate and potential lasting impact of the PVT is applying it to yourself. When you do that, it opens the potential for you to create a new narrative for yourself. A new story of your past. Before PVT, you might be looking at past events and blaming yourself . Saying, "Why didn't I do this" or "Why did I have to do that?" After learning PVT, you might instead be able to realize, "Oh, I was stuck in a freeze state and that's why I didn't do that." Along with that blame, you might be shaming and judging yourself . "I'm so stupid, why didn't I..." and "I knew it, I'm unlovable and not worth anything, that's why..." After learning the PVT, you might realize that the people in your life - even your parent(s) - are working from their own stuck defensive state and were not able to care for you the way that you needed and deserved. And maybe that's still true for them. Allow the learning to settle I know you might be wanting to recover from trauma and ready to take the next steps. I've got you covered through my Polyvagal Trauma Relief System. Click here to learn more about the Polyvagal Trauma Relief System > But before that, allow your Polyvagal learning to really settle. And by that, I mean to take your time, learn it as deeply as you can and don't try to do anything with it quite yet. Besides learn and sit with your learning. Once you think you understand it well enough, what you can do next is apply the knowledge to yourself in your present moment. Not the past; not yet. Just focus on the here and now and apply this knowledge to yourself with as much curiosity as you can. When you're ready to, then apply the PVT knowledge to your past as you can handle it. Build that new narrative of yourself through the lens of the Polyvagal Theory. I have some prompts for you below. Don't answer these unless you think you can handle it. It's totally okay to come back to this point when you are ready. New past narrative prompts Here are some prompts to help you develop that new narrative of your past: How much access did you have to your safety state? Was it realistic to be able to develop your safety state in that context? How much access did other people have to their safety state? Is it possible that you had to exist in a defensive state in that context? Is it possible you existed in a defensive state to get your needs met? Do you think your body actually did its job by putting you into a defensive state in that context? Do you think that you had an impulse to connect with others in safety that maybe could not be returned by them? For all this to really click, you must have a clear understanding of the Polyvagal Theory and how it connects to trauma. My Polyvagal 101 course gets you from Polyvagal confusion to Polyvagal clarity . With my simple but solid Polyvagal education in place, you can then begin to apply it to yourself and build your new, judgment and shame-free narrative. Click here to learn more about Polyvagal 101 > Check off what you're learning through the Polyvagal Checklist download below. Join the Stucknaut Collective for free and gain instant access to a course on trauma recovery, practical Polyvagal Theory resources, and exclusive downloadable tools to support your healing journey.